Insecurities

I have really been thinking a lot lately.  About the battles I've gone through over the years.  Probably my biggest battle has been and is insecurity.  Or making the mistake of putting my "security" in things that would only make me more insecure in the end.

Relationships, good grades, and most other things in life will come and go.  And putting our security in those things/people, will only make matters worse.  It will cause our insecurity to grow greater with each let down.

The one thing that we can put our security in is with Jesus.  He will never leave us, nor forsake us.  He will not disappoint us.  His love is the one thing that will remain throughout all circumstances.

The first part in battling insecurity is acknowledging the presence of insecurity. In order to fight it, you must first recognize it.

Secondly, you must refute whatever it is that it is telling you.  Do not let insecurity fill your mind.  It will try and sneak lies and assumptions into your head that will literally drive you mad.  Insecurity will cause you to do some things you would otherwise never consider doing.  Trust me, I have been there.

Instead, fill your mind with positive thoughts.  With the TRUTH!  Fill it with scripture, or pray, do what you need to in order to clear your mind of whatever insecurity is trying to tell you.

It's a battle, and it's not an easy one.  It is so easy to just give in and let security take over, but you are so much better off fighting it now, before it gets more out of hand.  YOU are more than your insecurity.  

God wants us to be secure! And we can be secure if we choose to be.  By putting our hope, our trust and our security in Him, we can have the security He wants for us.

When I began this journal entry, I didn't plan on making a chart on how to battle security, but that's what it resulted in.  So I want to leave you with some verses that may help encourage you, as well as myself, to attain the security Christ intended us to have through Him. 

"This hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which enters the Presence behind the veil" ~Hebrews 6:19

"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." ~Psalm 18:2 

"The salvation of the righteous comes from the LORD; he is their stronghold in time of trouble" ~Psalm 37:39

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea." ~Psalm 46:1-2

"Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the LORD, who has compassion on you. " ~Isaiah 54:10

And I'll leave you with my favorite. Its John 14:17, Jesus says this Himself: 

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Vision Onto Canvas

Last week I was feeling very overwhelmed and stressed.  I was dealing with the stress of school, paying for college textbooks, and other things. I was just in a funk for almost a week straight.  Well that Sunday I went to church and near the end of service, Pastor called for prayer time, and as I began to pray, God gave me this vision.

It was me and Jesus. I was trying to talk to Him and explain to Him everything I was feeling and going through.  But no words could come out of my mouth.  All I could do was just lay down and cry.  As I cried in His lap, He stroked my hair. Though I didn't hear Him say anything.  It was as if He was speaking to my soul, saying "Everything will be okay my dear child. Everything will be okay..."

And I couldn't get this image out of my mind.  I decided I wanted to try my hardest to convey this powerful image onto a canvas, so I took the challenge and this is what I came up with.  In no way does it give the actual image any justice, but it was the best I can do.

Remember, any time you need to talk to God, and can't find the words, sometimes the best you can do is just cry to Him. The Holy Spirit will intercede for us (Romans 8:26).

Also remember Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

21 Acts of Kindness

A few months back I stumbled upon a blog on Pinterest about a woman who celebrated her birthday by doing an act of kindness for each year since the year of her birth.

Well today I turned 21 and decided that I was going to do the same thing! And boy am I glad I did! I could not have came up with a better way to spend my day! Not only was it nice bonding time for my mother and I, but it was also great to see people's reaction to the whole idea. Most of them costed little to no money since I am a broke college student ;)

I'm hoping that these photos and stories will inspire you to do the same, not just on your birthday, but to incorporate acts of kindness in your everyday life :D

Here is a list for some ideas (as well as a few pictures along the way)

1) I place encouraging sticky notes all in my mom's car for her to find when we went to church this morning!

2) I gave money to one of the kids at church to put into the Penny March

3-6) I donated 4 Bibles to the local pregnancy crisis center here in Charleston. It was something the Christian Book Store was doing for the month of December and I decided to donate 4 of them :D It was one of the pricier things on the list, but totally worth it!

7) I got some balloons blown up to give to little kids. They loved them! As soon as I walked out of the store there was a little girl who was admiring my balloons and she was so thrilled when I offered her one! 

8) I got a couple's tray of food for them at Taco Bell (who absolutely loved the idea)

9)  Donated some change to the SPCA

10) I donated some old things and clothes to the local Good Will Store

11) The lady leaving Wal-Mart in front of us dropped something, so I picked it up and handed it back to her.

12) I put of some shopping buggys for people at Wal-Mart

13) I donated/recycled some of my old glasses frames to Wal-Mart's eye center to help people who can't afford frames. (Since I have been wearing glasses since 3rd grade, I have racked up about 6 pairs over the years and I keep saying "I'm going to donate them someday" and today I finally did it lol)

14) Placed a letter in the mail box for the mail man/lady (with some chocolate, because, who doesn't love chocolate ;)

15) Gave a note of appreciation to one of the workers at the mall. They really do go unappreciated and always look so down, so I gave them a note and told them thank you for what you do! 

16) I hid sticky notes in books at Books A Million. Most my notes went into books talking about break ups and how to get through them. Since I endured a rough break up and read a few books on the subject myself,  I wanted to encourage others since I know what they are going through and know they need it most because it was close to my heart. This new year I am praying God will use my experiences to help others, and this was my first step in doing so!

17) Taped quarters to a sticky note and placed it on a vending machine at the mall

18) Left pennies on the floor with a note that said "Have a blessed day, Jesus loves you!"

19) Left some more encouraging notes in random pockets of clothes at the mall

20) My mom and I left a few more quarters in a few bubble gum machines at the mall I gave a young boy a quarter to buy some Mike N Ikes when I saw his momma fishing for change. He was so cute. After he got his Mike N Ikes, he offered my mom and I some! My heart just melted <3 Even a little three your old understands the importance of random acts of kindness.

21) I gave a three year old boy a quarter to buy some Mike N Ikes when I saw his momma fishing for change. He was so cute. After he got his Mike N Ikes, he offered my mom and I some! My heart just melted <3 Even a little three your old understands the importance of random acts of kindness and wanted to return the favor.

************

Like I said before, I thoroughly enjoyed my birthday! It was definitely one of the most memorable birthdays thus far! I thank God for all the opportunities that came up and I really hope this has inspired someone to try and incorporate random acts of kindness, not only in their birthday, but your everyday life as well.

Take care, and God bless!

~Tiffany <3

Living Testimony of Psalm 147:3

"He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds" Psalm 147:3

When my heart was shattered earlier this year, I was left with this verse, a broken heart, and hope. Hope that these words could possibly become true for me...

Well I have realized tonight that I am a living testimony to those words.

I did not think that I would ever heal from those scars.  After my broken engagement, I was crushed. I thought I would never love again.  I thought I would be one of those girls who would never move on and would keep holding out hoping that he would come to his senses. But by the grace of God, I finally let him go (in my heart) about a month ago.  

Today I found out that he is seeing another girl.  Instead of feeling betrayed, hurt, sad, depressed, all the emotions I am sure I would have felt had I not let go of him in my heart already, instead, I was filled with ... I'm really not sure to be honest.

I am not mad at him.  Nor am I mad at the girl.  But I felt compassion for her.  She looks considerably younger than me, and I just pray that he doesn't do to her what he did to me.  That was my first reaction was to pray for her. 

Had this happened two months ago, I don't know what I would have done or how I would have reacted...

But it doesn't matter, because God healed me. He healed my broken heart. He bound up my wounds.  I can move on, I can press forward because of the great things He has done in me.

I can look ahead and know that God has a plan for me.  He never left me that whole time, even when I felt so far from Him, He was there the whole time.  I also know that He was with me tonight as I finally got rid of all things associated with that guy.

I cannot thank God enough.  Looking back at my journey the past year, I know I have had some dark moments.  But all I can say is I thank God for them.  I thank Him for taking me through those trials and making me a stronger person.  But most importantly, I am thankful for the journey because it has brought me so much closer to Him. 

Never in my life have I ever been as close to God as I am now.  I finally feel I am on the right track with God and I cannot wait to see what He has in store for me.

Like I said earlier, I thought I would never love again, but I was wrong.  I have fallen in love again.  And I fall more in love every day.  I don't know what I would do without Him in my life, but thankfully I will never have to worry about that, because He has already promised me "Never will I leave you or forsake you..."

Thank you Jesus. Thank you...

No, Mom, I'm not okay...

On the car ride home from grandma Emily's mom kept asking me if I was okay in which I replied my usual "I'm fine". But I think we both know its a lie. 

Of course I'm not fine. I hate this place. Living in this house is so physically, emotionally, and psychologically draining. As soon as I step thru the door I can literally feel the joy and happiness in life just get sucked up. Gone like a leaf in this wind. 

I can't stand it. I don't even feel safe in my own home. I need to find a safe haven somewhere else. Anywhere else but here. 

It's almost like there's some kind of dark spirit that dwells in this house. I don't blame Brittany for getting out of it. As much as I miss her, I hope she doesn't come back. She shouldn't have to deal with the darkness in this house. 

And it's like mom is completely naive to it. Or she's just too tired to care anymore. She's had all the life sucked out of her as well it seems.

I'm not saying that her husband is some evil spirit, but I know his presence in this household doesn't help push it out that's for sure. If anything it's almost like he invited it in. 
I shouldn't fear for my own safety in my own home. And it's not the outsiders breaking in I'm afraid of. Heck I could probably handle that. It's what's on the inside I'm afraid of. The darkness is what I fear.  As well as her husband.  I will not allow myself to be alone in the house with him. Because I fear for y life. He has attacked my sister an mother on multiple occasions. Who's to say he won't do it to me?

I have been living here in this house for 18 years. He only eight. How is it that I'm the one who has to leave all the time? It's not fair. 
And mom doesn't seem to care. It's like she's just given up. She rather live a life of complacency, though I would hardly call it that, just so she won't have to live alone. 
I'd rather live alone with some life to me than in a house filled with soul sucking spirits. 

So the answer to your question mom is no, I'm not okay.... 

Dear God,

You know my situation. You have put me here for a reason, but what that reason is, I don't know. Please help give me the strength. My mother has already given up, and I'm almost to that point too. I know that darkness in this house is strong, but I also know that there is NO darkness that can compare to your Light, God. For Your light shines through all darkness. 

Please let your light shine through me.  Please give me the strength to fight this darkness. I cannot do it alone, but I know with You on my side, I am garunteed victory. Help me win back my house.  Help me to fight for peace in our house. We cannot live with this darkness anymore.

I claim victory in Your name Jesus,

Amen

Don't Give Up When Satan Wins a Battle

You know when you work so hard for something (Whether its making good grades, avoiding an addiction, whatever your battle is) And then in one moment of weakness, all of the hard work is gone, down the drain.  One decision can bring you all the way to square one.  Sometimes meaning starting your countdown to recovery back at day one.

Sometimes we just aren't strong enough to win every battle.  The devil comes just at the time of our moment of weakness and the next thing you know, you are sitting in a hole, feeling shameful and guilty.

The devil just won a battle. Now you have two options. You can 1) sit around and wallow in your shame and self pity or 2) you can look up to your Heavenly Father and ask for forgiveness and thank Him for His countless mercies that are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23 "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.")

God knows we are not perfect.  He doesn't expect perfection from us.  Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to die for us on Calvary. He DOES expect us to love Him and to try our hardest to do right by Him.  But He knows we are going to mess up and fail.  He knows it, and we should know it too.  He does not expect perfection from us, and we should not expect perfection from ourselves either.

Sometimes Satan wins the battle, but that does not mean we give up and let him win the war. Pick yourself back up and keep fighting the good fight.

Even if it may seem hopeless, remember the war has already been won.  Christ has already won this battle for us.  Satan cannot defeat you because you have Christ living in you, and He has already won the victory over sin and death for us!

So the next time Satan wins a battle in your fight, pick yourself back up, claim victory in Christ's name, and keep on fighting the good fight!

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." ~ 1 Timothy 6:12

Love always,

Tiffany 

(12.13.12)

Complaining to Thanking

So last night I had just gotten back from my school's church worship service and I was getting into bed to do my devotion. My study group is reading in Colossians and we use the S.O.A.P study guide (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer).  These were the verses from last night

"Children, obey your parents in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Bondservants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh, not with eyeservice, as men-pleasers, but in sincerity of heart, fearing God." Colossians 3:20-22 NKJV

So the verses were pretty straightforward.  And when I got to the Application part of the process I wanted to try and take it a step past "Obey my parents" (though I am not saying that it isn't important, besides, obeying your parents is the first command with a promise). So I focused on the last verse about the bondservants (or slaves).

Clearly, I am not a slave, so I had to really think to make its apply to my life. I am (kind of) an employee, but I don't work as often now that I am in school. So I replaced "bondservant" with my role as a student.  I should aim to please all my masters, or in this case, professors, with all that I do (turning in my work on time, showing up on time, not texting in class, so on and so forth). But the very last part is where God pretty much slapped me in the face.

I am to do all those things with "sincerity of heart". Because of my fear and love of Him, I should be obeying them. I should also be doing it because God gave me this opportunity to get back into school and here I am complaining about it. Complaining about lack of sleep, complaining about waking up for 8am classes, complaining about work load, and the list goes on. God was pretty much like, why don't you try being thankful for other things and not focus on the negative so much.

Part of me wanted to be stubborn, He just so happened to do this on Nov 1, the month of "thankfulness" and He knows I have been so dreading this month because of a certain holiday (those super close to me would understand why, but that's another story for another post).
So I'm like "really God?  You gotta do this now?" but why not now. I got to put my pride and my emotions away and just listen to Him, and that is what I did.

And He wasted no time putting me to the test first thing this morning. I had an 8am class and instead of complaining about getting up, I was thankful that 1) I even woke up 2) that I have the opportunity to go to class when I could still be miserable and out of school 3) that I can actually walk to class and so on and so forth. And I have had to do that about three times this morning already (and it's not even noon yet).

I did not realize how much I complained until now I have been challenged to change my thoughts.  I am appalled at how often I have caught myself in just the few hours I have been awake. I at first told myself that I was going to make this a week long challenge, but I have a feeling it is going to take longer than a week to break this habit. So I will continue to do this until thankfulness just comes naturally and the complaining subsides.

I hope that you are not in the same boat I am with complaining, but if you are, I pray that you can take the same challenge so that whenever you find yourself complaining, look for things to be thankful for instead. You too may be surprised at how much better you will feel :)

God bless,
Tiffany <3

Dancing with my Father

There is just something about dancing. I don't know what it is, but there is just something about it that gets me.  It's like I cannot wait to have my first dance with my future husband.  I have always seen dancing as a very personal and intimate action (and I'm not talking about the Hokey Pokey).

There is just something about two people, moving in the same motion, holding each other close as they move to the music.

But it also goes a step further.  My school last night had a night of worship for the students. And as I was singing to my Father God, I just felt that intimacy with Him. I could feel Him holding me close as I sang to Him and just worshiped.  Though my body was standing there in that row of seats, my soul was actually up in the air, dancing with my Father God. I could feel Him around me telling me everything is going to be okay.  He has my back, He knows what He is doing and has great plans for me. I cannot put into words how much I needed that dance last night.

What's on my mind?

So in case you haven't noticed, whenever you post a facebook status, it asks "what's on your mind". So today I was going to answer it for real this time, but once I got to typing it, I realized that what I had on my mind was much too long for a simple status up date, so I decided to blog about it instead.

So I'm not gonna lie, I went to bed with a bit of jealousy on my mind.  A few friends of mine on my facebook/other social networking sites, made statuses/posts about how God had finally answered their prayers.

As I was reading them, all I could think was, "okay God, when is it my turn?" So as I went to sleep that night, I even prayed about it.  I was like okay God, it seems like you have been in a prayer answering mode lately, I sure would like it if mine were next.

Well during my sleep I had a very weird dream. Like it was petrifying. It creeped me out BIG time and I woke up praying asking God to keep His angels around me. I was afraid to even go back to sleep, but I did.

Anyway what I'm trying to get to is in the end, when I woke up, I realized just how selfish I had been. Here I was upset that God hasn't "answered" this prayer I have had for months, when I should have been thankful for the prayers He HAD answered over the months. Focusing on the blessings both asked for, and the unexpected ones.  I was so embarrassed by the mindset I had before bed last night, it sickened me.

So I woke up thanking God for waking me another day, along with the countless other blessings He has blessed me with.

I also realized that in order for my prayers to be answered, I should change my prayers around.  I should ask that His will be done, and to help comfort me if His will is not the same as my desire.

I guess this is some of what's been on my mind...

Just on a personal note...

So I wrote this note on my phone during one of my melt downs last week during class. I am not going to change the wording of it because I don't want to mess with the raw emotions that were being experienced when written. Some of it was a little too personal so I left it out, but I left what I wanted shared:

---

I'm sitting in class and I don't even know why.  I'm physically here, but mentally, I am far far away.  I feel like I'm relapsing... and I'm not doing a good job at fighting it. I just don't know what to think anymore.  I really just want to go to bed and never get out of it.

And on top of all this, or maybe the reason for all this, I'm not sure... is I miss him. And I hate it! Why can't I just hate him.  Why can't I just move on like everyone says I should.  Why can't I just move on like he apparently has (and with no problem at that). It's not fair...

I keep asking "but God?" or "God why?" but does it really matter?  Like the song "The Hurt and the Healer" by MercyMe says, "Healing doesn't come from being explained".

We can cry and beg God for an explanation all day, but would we understand it? Even if God answered every little question we had, we would still want to know more.  We would ask and ask all day long for more because there is no way for our small finite minds to comprehend God and His mysterious ways.  We may think we have Him figured out, but we really have no clue.

I ask God everyday why things didn't work out between us.  Why did I screw up? Why did you let me fall in love with someone if I was only going to end up broken, hurt and confused in the end? Why did I feel like you wanted me with him forever? Why did you allow me to get hurt like this? Why did you allow that last response when it came in when it did? Why did you let me feel that feeling of reassurance when it obviously was not true?

I do not know all these answers, and I may never know the whole story.  But one thing I do know is God has all the answers.  All I can do is cry to God for comfort, not answers.  I have to trust that He knows what He is doing.  I have to live for Him, and never let the pain from my loss overbear the love He has given me through all this, because often time I do.

Col 2:11-12

I have not been posting very much because I was without a laptop for a while. So all computer usage was done in the library and blogging was not a part of my top priorities....

But anyway... So I am doing a Bible study with a group of girls online in Colossians.  We take about two verses a day and really break them down and meditate on them. I have found this method so much more rewarding than reading two or three chapters a day.  Sure I don't get as much read, but I get more out of what I do read, which really is the whole point of reading scripture.

I may go back in my journal and write some of them down but I wanted to share with you what I got from today's verses. They were Colossians 2:11-12 which reads 

"So I am doing a Bible study with a group of girls online in Colossians.  We take about two verses a day and really break them down and meditate on them. I have found this method so much more rewarding than reading two or three chapters a day.  Sure I don't get as much read, but I get more out of what I do read, which really is the whole point of reading scripture." NLT

So basically, here is what I got from this passage:

 “When you came to Christ, you were “circumcised,” but not by a physical procedure. Christ performed a spiritual circumcision—the cutting away of your sinful nature. For you were buried with Christ when you were baptized. And with him you were raised to new life because you trusted the mighty power of God, who raised Christ from the dead.” Col 2:11-12 NLT

So when I read this I had to just stop and thank God for what He has done. 

The reality of what the words were saying just really sank in. God CUT AWAY our sinful nature. We are no longer attached to our sinful pasts. He cut it away from us, giving us FREEDOM and victory over those sins! He already did the work for us, all we have to do is not pick it back up!

And when we were baptized, we were raised to a NEW life. Not a fixed version of your previously damaged life, not a revised version, not an edited version, but a NEW one! The old sinful self is dead, and we are raised NEW in Christ!

Today’s verse just really was what I needed today! Hope others got the same excitement as I did.

God bless,

Tiffany <3

 

Spreading the Good News

So the Great Commision in Matthew 28 says

“Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

I know one of the things on my Bucket List is to go on a Mission’s Trip.  It is VERY high on my Bucket List and I’m praying that I can get that opportunity this Spring Break! But after I read my devotion today (about the Great Commission) I realized, what am I waiting for?

Who said I could only share and spread the Good News in a foreign country? Who said  I had to go outside my state walls, my city walls, or even my school walls. I can spread the Gospel anytime, any place.  I should not wait until the opportunity arises to do so.

In fact, I have more to lose when I preach here in my own environment. Say I travel to Haiti to do mission’s work, and they reject me? What’s the worse that can happen? They reject me and I never see them again.  I go back to my everyday life here in America and hope for better next time. There really is NO LOSS in me spreading the word overseas.

Now if I were to share the Gospel here at my campus, then it’s a totally different story. Yes, I could be rejected, but it would not be the end of communication.  I will see these people all the time. There is more to lose. And there are chances of being persecuted for my faith. But that should not stop me, and it should not stop us from ministering to those right in our backyard, or even within our households.  As Paul says, any persecution we have no will not compare to the glory God has for us (Rom 8:18).

So I urge you Brothers and Sisters, not to sit around waiting for an opportunity to spread the Good News to a foreign country.  Start by spreading it within your own home, your school, your work, maybe even your church.  You never know who around you may really need to hear the Good News and to see it in action right before their very eyes.

God just really laid this on my heart this morning and I hope that it inspires someone else to also take action. 

God bless you

~Tiffany

God is good...if

is a very dangerous statement.

Many of us find ourselves in a “God is good…if” state of mind.  We may not verbalize it, but I’m sure we have all been in this mindset.  Let me give you a few examples:

• God is good… if I get that job I have been praying for
• God is good… if my friends/family gets saved whom I’ve been praying for
• God is good… if I get that promotion I’ve been praying for
• God is good… if He brings me back the love of my life again

So I think I have made my point.  I myself have been struggling with this very same problem.  And this morning God laid it on my heart and opened my eyes to what I have been doing.

What He wanted me to share is, there is no “if” in God is good. He just is. God is good. Period, end of story.

God is good even if I don’t get that job or the promotion.  He is still good even if my friends/family do not get saved.  Even if the love of my life never finds his way back to me, GOD IS STILL GOOD!

Don’t let life’s circumstances fog your view of God. He is good, no matter what is going on around you.

He loves you and knows what He is doing. Just trust in Him and He will take care of you!

God bless,

Tiff

How He Loves Us - David Crowder

So David Crowder’s song “How He Loves Us” has always been a favorite of mine. I have heard it many times, and I love it so much that back when I was planning a wedding, I had the intention on playing it before the ceremony as a worship song for everyone to sing.

Well, today as I was waiting for my ride to work, this song came on the radio. But something was different this time, it was almost as if I really listened to the lyrics this time. And I mean REALLY listened. And really comprehended what they said and more importantly, what they meant. Here is what I got from it:

He is jealous for me

• God is a jealous God (Deut 6:15).  He desires and wants our complete attention and does not like it when we let other things or people take our attention away from Him. He wants and desires our love and our hearts.

Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree, bending beneath the weight of His wind and mercy

• Think of a hurricane. It is a very strong and mighty force that can cause severe damage, but you cannot see it.  You can see the trees bending and swaying, debris flying, and properties being damaged, but those are only the effects from the hurricane. You cannot see the the actual winds, the force, behind the hurricane. Same with God and His Holy Spirit. You can not physically see it, but you can definitely see and feel it’s effects. His love and mercy for us is so great, yet we cannot see it, but we can feel its effects; The peace it gives us in our souls during times of trials, the love you feel when loneliness has overcome your heart, the comfort in knowing that God is in control and has the best intentions for you and your life, or even just the joy and happiness we get from knowing and feeling God’s love for us. The Holy Spirit, as well as God’s love for us, are very strong and powerful forces, yet cannot be seen.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

• God has the ability to fill our hearts with such love and grace that we can no longer see/feel the afflictions in our lives. Afflictions can be defined as a state of pain, distress, or grief.  His glory eclipses (or simply blocks out and hides) all pains and grievances in our lives. No matter what we may be going through, God’s glory is stronger that our trials.

And I realized just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me

• Someone who loves as deeply as God does has got to be the most beautiful of all things. There are several references to His “beautiful Holiness” in the Bible (Psalm 90:17, 96:9, 1 Ch 16:39 and more) His holiness is probably more beautiful than any of us could even fathom. And His affections for us are also more than we can fathom. 1 John 3:1 says ” How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” His love for us is so great, this is just one of many verses where God’s love for us is touched upon. But as the song states, He has GREAT affections for each and every one of us.

Oh, How He loves us oh, Oh, how He loves us. How He loves us, oh.

• I really don’t feel like I have to embellish on this, the chorus pretty much speaks for itself. God loves us! Plain and simple

We are His portion and He is our prize. Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes. If His grace was an ocean we’re all sinking.

• His love for us is so great and powerful that we cannot escape from it.  No matter how hard we may try to run and hide form it, it will always be here. The last line there, ‘if His grace was an ocean, we’re all sinking’ is my favorite verse in the whole song.  Crowder compares God’s all consuming love to an ocean. When you’re in the ocean, the water surrounds your body and if you fall into a current, it will completely consume you.  Same with Christ’s love, if we allow it to take over, it will completely consume our body and can change our hearts and minds, and completely change the way we live our lives.

And Heaven meets Earth like an unforeseen kiss and my heart turns violently inside of my chest.

• A kiss is an action shared between two individuals who share a mutual, loving,and intimate feeling for one another. God desires an intimate relation ship us.  Intimate simply means a close personal relation. Though it is commonly connected with a romantic relation in today’s society, it does not have to be. God wants an intimate relationship with us, simply meaning He wants a close and personal relationship with each of His children. He wants us to tell Him our thoughts, emotions, fears, joys, all of it.  He wants us to share every part of our life with Him. When we have that intimate relationship with Him, we receive the blessings that come with it. In this case, a kiss, between Heaven, where He resides, and Earth, where His children reside.

And I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way, He loves us…

• Sometimes we allow our pasts to interfere with our relationship and worship with God. Hebrews 9:13 says that with Christ’s death and resurrection, we can effectively clear our conscience when we ask our sins to be forgiven so that the guilt will not interfere with our worship of Him. We don’t have to let our past mistakes or regrets interfere with our worship because… well He loves us.

Oh, How He loves us oh. Oh, how He loves us. How He loves us, oh….

Letting Go

As humans, we tend to cling to what is familiar and what we are used to, even if it means giving up on something that could be better for you. It may be an old relationship, an old lifestyle or habit, or even just an old mindset.

When we come to Jesus, we have to let go of some things. It may not be easy, but you can ask God to help you let it go. I know it’s hard, trust me, I am battling with it myself. But really, the past is the past for a reason. God got you out of it, so don’t let yourself fall back into it.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. ~Ephesians 4:21-24

Throw away your past and put on the new and remade you! You can do it, because that is what God wants for you, and He will help you do it if you only ask His help!

But remember, before He can help you, you must be 100% willing to let go of whatever it is that you are letting go of.  I know that may seem like common sense, but it took me a while to see that the reason I was not moving on from my past was because I was not willing to let God do the work, I wanted to hold on. But I started praying for strength to let go, and once I did that, things got easier.

I hope this helps someone out there! Remember, you are not alone! God is with you every step of the way!

God bless,

Tiffany <3

A Personal Pondering

This is quite embarrassing, but I feel I need to throw it out there...

So I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson. I know this may sound trivial to you, but to me, it's actually way bigger of an issue than I'm really willing to admit. I have had it on my mind, but I think in order for me to really get it is by writing it out so here it goes...

So ever since I moved into my school, things have been great. But I have been having this one issue. My hair! (okay, go ahead and laugh) but seriously.

It will not cooperate no matter WHAT I do. Everything fails.  Straightening doesn't work, neither will my natural curls cooperate (much to my dismay). I don't know what to do.

And I know I should not make a big deal about it, but for some reason I am. It's like I used to have this awesome confidence in myself, but now, it's gone. And I'm pretty sure my hair has some sort of correlation with that loss (as embarrassing and horrible as that sounds.)

I think God is trying to teach me a lesson that appearances are not what's important. And that I spend too much time worrying about them, rather than worrying about what's on the inside. I'll spend about 30 minutes trying to make my hair decent, only to have it ruined as soon as I step outside, and all day I get upset that it does that. And I let it get to me.  I spend more time trying to figure out what to do to fix my hair, than I do to try and fix my heart and build my relationship with Him.

Why do I let my confidence depend on whether or not I am having a good hair day?  My confidence should be in the Lord, my God. My Rock and my Salvation. Not some filamentous biomaterial on top of my head.  

I have never considered myself as superficial, and have joked about people who are. But I feel like that is what I have become, all over a stupid head of hair. 

I guess I am writing this to kinda understand it better myself. It's actually kinda embarrassing, but I thought maybe throwing it out there in the open will help me realize how stupid this whole thing is and how I need to fix it.  Maybe this is a lesson from God to open up my eyes to what I have become.... Or maybe my hair is just being duh lol.

But whatever the reasoning, I am really going to have to keep myself in check and fix this problem now.  I do not want it escalating. I pray that God will help me get back the confidence that I used to have (and perhaps maybe at least one good hair day a week, lol, jk) but seriously. I do pray He helps me fix this problem I seem to have developed.

Thanks and God bless, and please if you have any comments or suggestions, or maybe even a similar experience, please let me know. It would be GREAT to know that I'm not the only one who had dealt with a similarly petty situation.

Peace and blessings,

Tiff

Adversity

I stumbled upon this verse in Job last night and wanted to share with you what I read and what I got from it.

Job 36:15 says “But by means of their suffering, he rescues those who suffer.  For he gets their attention through adversity.” (NLT)

Adversity is another way of saying “unfortunate events/circumstances.” So what this verse is saying is that God uses our sufferings to get our attention.  He puts us through trials in order to bring us closer to HIM!

Don’t look at it as punishment, remember, God disciplines those He loves (Heb 12:6) but look at it more like a calling.  God is calling out to you and sometimes the only way He can get to us is through trials of adversity. (Because let’s face it, I know I’m not the only one that can be a little stubborn when it comes to listening to God).

So whenever trials arise, try to look at them as God calling out and reaching for you. Will you reach out draw closer to Him?

(9.4.12)

My Blog

I don't know how active I will be on this blog, but I wanted a space to keep my writings whenever I have a good breakthrough with God. I am going to post them so that maybe someone, somewhere, can also benefit from these words. I am not claiming them to be powerful, but I do hope that they are meaningful to someone.

Most of these writings will have been from either my scripture time or just my walks/talks with God. Whenever He lays something on my heart to share, this will be my way of sharing. I hope that someone is able to benefit from these words.

I'm starting this blog 9/4/12 but I am adding writings that I have previously written so the dates are going to be before this one, so bear with me.

Thanks, take care, and God bless.

Tiffany

Everyday Battle

Some of you, like myself, are getting back into the school schedule. Make sure to make some time for Jesus and He will bless you accordingly.

“”If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will save it.” Luke 9:23-24

Remember that following Jesus is a daily committment. Everyday Satan is going to tempt us to do things unpleasing to God, he will remind you of your fleshly desires and try to interfere with you and God.  But you must deny yourself, and your fleshly desires, and put God first. It’s a daily battle, but thankfully we have a God who is stronger and any weapon formed against us (Isaiah 57:14).

As the saying goes, don’t be a part-time Christian for a full-time God ;)

God bless

~Tiffany

Daily Bears Our Burdens

So for many of you, school has started back, and if you’re anything like me, the school work is piling up…. FAST.  The stress is quickly starting to ease it’s way in, with deadlines for, homework, exams, papers all due at the same time, while trying to balance Jesus, daily Bible time, friends, family, and work too. Needless to say, it’s pretty stressful. But tonight Pastor gave an awesome word, and he pointed out this scripture and I couldn’t wait to share it with you guys!

It is Psalm 68:19

“‎Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19

Praise the LORD!! He bears our burdens DAILY! There is not a day that goes by where He does not offer to carry our burdens. So no matter what stress is going on in our life, be it school, work, family, relationships, whatever it is, there is nothing too big that God can’t handle. If you will only give them to Him, He will gladly bear your burdens for you! Remember, He has overcome the world!

God bless and hope you all are doing well! Peace and blessings!

Tiffany <3

(8.30.12)