Vision Onto Canvas

Last week I was feeling very overwhelmed and stressed.  I was dealing with the stress of school, paying for college textbooks, and other things. I was just in a funk for almost a week straight.  Well that Sunday I went to church and near the end of service, Pastor called for prayer time, and as I began to pray, God gave me this vision.

It was me and Jesus. I was trying to talk to Him and explain to Him everything I was feeling and going through.  But no words could come out of my mouth.  All I could do was just lay down and cry.  As I cried in His lap, He stroked my hair. Though I didn't hear Him say anything.  It was as if He was speaking to my soul, saying "Everything will be okay my dear child. Everything will be okay..."

And I couldn't get this image out of my mind.  I decided I wanted to try my hardest to convey this powerful image onto a canvas, so I took the challenge and this is what I came up with.  In no way does it give the actual image any justice, but it was the best I can do.

Remember, any time you need to talk to God, and can't find the words, sometimes the best you can do is just cry to Him. The Holy Spirit will intercede for us (Romans 8:26).

Also remember Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Don't Give Up When Satan Wins a Battle

You know when you work so hard for something (Whether its making good grades, avoiding an addiction, whatever your battle is) And then in one moment of weakness, all of the hard work is gone, down the drain.  One decision can bring you all the way to square one.  Sometimes meaning starting your countdown to recovery back at day one.

Sometimes we just aren't strong enough to win every battle.  The devil comes just at the time of our moment of weakness and the next thing you know, you are sitting in a hole, feeling shameful and guilty.

The devil just won a battle. Now you have two options. You can 1) sit around and wallow in your shame and self pity or 2) you can look up to your Heavenly Father and ask for forgiveness and thank Him for His countless mercies that are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23 "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.")

God knows we are not perfect.  He doesn't expect perfection from us.  Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to die for us on Calvary. He DOES expect us to love Him and to try our hardest to do right by Him.  But He knows we are going to mess up and fail.  He knows it, and we should know it too.  He does not expect perfection from us, and we should not expect perfection from ourselves either.

Sometimes Satan wins the battle, but that does not mean we give up and let him win the war. Pick yourself back up and keep fighting the good fight.

Even if it may seem hopeless, remember the war has already been won.  Christ has already won this battle for us.  Satan cannot defeat you because you have Christ living in you, and He has already won the victory over sin and death for us!

So the next time Satan wins a battle in your fight, pick yourself back up, claim victory in Christ's name, and keep on fighting the good fight!

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." ~ 1 Timothy 6:12

Love always,

Tiffany 

(12.13.12)

Daily Bears Our Burdens

So for many of you, school has started back, and if you’re anything like me, the school work is piling up…. FAST.  The stress is quickly starting to ease it’s way in, with deadlines for, homework, exams, papers all due at the same time, while trying to balance Jesus, daily Bible time, friends, family, and work too. Needless to say, it’s pretty stressful. But tonight Pastor gave an awesome word, and he pointed out this scripture and I couldn’t wait to share it with you guys!

It is Psalm 68:19

“‎Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19

Praise the LORD!! He bears our burdens DAILY! There is not a day that goes by where He does not offer to carry our burdens. So no matter what stress is going on in our life, be it school, work, family, relationships, whatever it is, there is nothing too big that God can’t handle. If you will only give them to Him, He will gladly bear your burdens for you! Remember, He has overcome the world!

God bless and hope you all are doing well! Peace and blessings!

Tiffany <3

(8.30.12)

Don't Forget Your Value

As I was going on my daily walk, I found a penny on the road, so I picked it up. The side facing up was fine, but after I picked it up and examined it, I noticed the back was in terrible condition. If I hadn’t seen the front, I never would have known it was a penny.

Then God starting using that penny to teach me some very important lessons to apply to my life.  I will now try to explain them to the best of my ability.

So my first reaction when I examined the penny was “well I guess I won’t be using this penny, it’s so damaged that it’s useless.” Often times in life we consider ourselves as damaged and useless unto God.  We let it hold us back from doing things God wants us to do.  But we don’t have to live like that.  If we let God work in us, he can take the damaged parts and fix them.  So to prove this point, when I got home I went online to see the best way to clean a penny. I did so and watched as the Vinegar penetrated through the gunk on the penny and watched as Lincoln’s head became clearer and clearer. Then I realized that the vinegar represents God. He is our “vinegar.”  We can chose to keep on living with our damaged parts, our broken hearts and souls and spirits, or we can hand them over to God, and let him wash the pains away.  Allow Him to totally wipe you clean and restore you to your natural self. But in order to be made new again, you have to make the decision to go to Him, and allow Him to work in your life and to make you as good as new.

The second point is that just because something or someONE seems fine on the outside, does not mean there is nothing the matter with them. I did not realize the state that the penny was in until I picked it up and examined it to find the back of the penny marred. Just because someone seems put together on the outside, you never really know what is going on on the inside unless you dive deeper.  So say a prayer for your friends and family.  You may not know what is going on, but God does, and they may need the prayer after all.  Just because they may seem they have it all together, does not mean it is so.

But the main point I got from this whole “Penny Experience” is that no matter what happens to it, a penny is still a penny. It still has the value of a penny. And the same goes for you.  Just as the penny does not lose it’s value when it is scratched, neither do you lose any of your worth when you take a beating.  Satan will send a lot of things your way to tear you down, and make you beat yourself up, but at the end of the day, you are still God’s creation.  You are still a child of God and He still loves you the same today as He did yesterday, and still will tomorrow.  He still sees you as His beautiful and precious creation. No matter what happens in your life, you will NEVER lose that value to God. There is nothing you can do that will diminish the value God has for you. No matter what mistakes you may make, He will always be there to pick you up, and dust you off, and make you good as new.

God bless,

Tiff

Falling in Love

So I have always been afraid of falling in love. Mainly because I’m afraid of getting hurt. The first time I ever came close to falling in love with someone, they broke my heart. 

This is why I was very cautious with my last relationship, I was afraid that if I allowed myself to fall in love, I would end up heart broken. Well I took a chance, and well, ended up flat on my face, heart shattered more than I ever thought imaginable.

So I’m as I’m reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, he tells us we need to fall in love with God. Then the memories of all the other times came flooding back and I was like “No way. I can’t. I cannot allow myself to fall in love with God and lose Him too. He is all I got, if I lose Him, I lose everything.”

Then I realized how silly I was to think that. How many times does God tell us that He loves us and will always be there for us? Take Deuteronomy 31:8 for example, ”The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” -Deuteronomy 31:8 

I should not fear that in loving God He will leave me there hanging. In fact, He wants to love me so much, that He wants to erase those bad memories and hurts I have associated with love, so that when He deems ready, I will be prepared to love again when He does send the right guy along. He wants that for both our sakes. I need to fall head over heels in love with God, and love Him without anything holding me back or interfering.  Only by falling in love with Him can I ever understand what true love really is.

(8.14.12)

My Personal Journey/My Isaiah Moment

So as I am coming to the end of my personal study of Isaiah, I have looked back at how much it has changed me.  In the very begining, Isaiah was very humble and felt unworthy to serve the Lord. But God cleansed him, then said the following

 ”Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I (Isaiah) said, “Here [am] I! Send me.”

It was then that I realized it was my time too. To totally surrender and ask God what it was that He wanted for me and asked how I could best serve Him and His kingdom. Well after a few days of intense praying and drowning myself in His word, I got the answer I was looking for. 

Long story short, He was leading me to Christian Counseling (which at first I thought He meant I needed it, but then I quickly realized, it was the other way around) and I did not feel like I was the best person for that, but He kept pushing me towards it. Well, one of my personal memory verses for that week was Prov 3:5-6 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

{{Just a little background info about my personal memory verses, each week I write down two-three verses to really meditate on daily, and memorize. Usually they are verses that really apply to my life at that certain time, and that verse definitely suit the bill for that week! }}

So anyways, I was sitting in church that Sunday morning and pulled out my Bible verses. Well when I got down to that one, something was different. It wasn’t me saying it…

As I was sitting in church, waiting for it to start, God said to me “Trust in ME with all your heart, and lean not on YOUR OWN understanding, lean on mine. I will guide you and help you through this journey”

Seriously, I wish someone had seen my face when this happened. I immediately grabbed my notebook and started scribbling. My hand was shaking so bad, I just couldn’t get it written down. 

The reason He had to say this to me was because, well, I tried to tell myself I was not able to do it. Like I said earlier, I was in the middle of doing my own personal study of Isaiah. Most of the time I was super confused, and there were wars with enemies, and allies, and fighting and God’s wrath, then peace and it was really overwhelming at times. Well in the midst of this, I felt God was leading me to drop my sociology degree and start on my Religion degree here at CSU. But I was like “God, how can I do that? I BARELY understand this ONE book of the Bible, how am I supposed to figure out and understand the whole thing. I just can’t do it, it will be too much. I just don’t understand it all.” Those were my exact words (taken from a journal entry I wrote during those days of intense prayer and such.” Well it was the day after that note/letter was written that God said that verse to me, the very same verse that I had been memorizing and meditating on all week, but was now seeing it in a whole new light.

It was like God was saying, ”Tiffany, you’re right. You cannot do it…ON YOUR OWN. But with MY help, you can. Lean on me, and I will give you the ability to understand and do great things.” Yeah, God wanting to do great things with ME. Of all people. I was just so in awe I just didn’t know how to respond. 

So once I got my mind wrapped around the whole thing, I applied to CSU and got accepted in a matter of days. Then was given a super big scholarship from the school it self.  I asked God to open the door to help me get accepted (since the last day to register had passed) and it was like He knocked the whole door and wall down with it! It only confirmed what I knew in my heart what God wanted from me. When God something for you, He can and will do anything to make it possible!

Now fast forward to this morning. As I was getting ready for work, I just broke down. Tears streamed down my face as I realized, God had called me to this a long time ago, and I JUST TODAY realized it. God had used me before to help someone and showed me at a very young age just exactly what He wanted from me. And I only today was able to put the pieces together…

Rewind about ten years ago. My parents went through a divorce. It was hard on my sister and I, and I had to go through counseling and all that jazz. During that time, I became really close to my guidance counselor, Mrs. Hartnett (haha yes, that’s right, Mrs. Hartnett, no relation tho). Once they felt I was good, I no longer had to attend counseling. Well about a year a half maybe (I’m not sure as to the exact amount of time, because I was young and we all know kids have no perception of time lol, but I know this all happened b/w grades 3-5) so I think I was in 4th grade by this point, and my guidance counselor called me in again. I was confused, because I was doing fine and didn’t understand why she called me in (though I was happy I got out of science class! ;) ) but anyway, come to find out, it wasn’t I that needed counseling, but another girl, about my age. 

Her parents were going through a pretty bad divorce (much worse than my situation was) but refused to talk to anyone, even the guidance counselor, but she agreed she would talk to another student, and my guidance counselor called me in and asked me if I would be willing to do it. I was happy to help (and probably even more happy to get out of class once a week lol) so I agreed. And for a few months, we met once or twice a week in guidance, and just talked about things and how we dealt with situations and such as my counselor just kinda supervised, but for the most part, let her and I do most the talking.

Who knew that what He was using me for then, was the same thing He would lead me to do again, for His glory, and to help His Kingdom. It was not until today I connected all of the pieces together. I guess I just never really tried to figure it out until now.

I guess that is all I wanted to share. In case anyone was wondering why I changed my major and such. It was simply because I asked God what He wanted me to do, and this is what He has called me to do.

And I am really excited to see where this is going to take me. I know God has great plans for me, and I know it is not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth it!

So God, here I am. Send me to do Your will, use me as You will. I am ready to lay down my life, pick up the cross, and follow You, whevever you may lead me…

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound…” Isaiah 61:1

(8.6.12)