Don't Give Up When Satan Wins a Battle

You know when you work so hard for something (Whether its making good grades, avoiding an addiction, whatever your battle is) And then in one moment of weakness, all of the hard work is gone, down the drain.  One decision can bring you all the way to square one.  Sometimes meaning starting your countdown to recovery back at day one.

Sometimes we just aren't strong enough to win every battle.  The devil comes just at the time of our moment of weakness and the next thing you know, you are sitting in a hole, feeling shameful and guilty.

The devil just won a battle. Now you have two options. You can 1) sit around and wallow in your shame and self pity or 2) you can look up to your Heavenly Father and ask for forgiveness and thank Him for His countless mercies that are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:22-23 "The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.")

God knows we are not perfect.  He doesn't expect perfection from us.  Otherwise, He would not have sent His Son to die for us on Calvary. He DOES expect us to love Him and to try our hardest to do right by Him.  But He knows we are going to mess up and fail.  He knows it, and we should know it too.  He does not expect perfection from us, and we should not expect perfection from ourselves either.

Sometimes Satan wins the battle, but that does not mean we give up and let him win the war. Pick yourself back up and keep fighting the good fight.

Even if it may seem hopeless, remember the war has already been won.  Christ has already won this battle for us.  Satan cannot defeat you because you have Christ living in you, and He has already won the victory over sin and death for us!

So the next time Satan wins a battle in your fight, pick yourself back up, claim victory in Christ's name, and keep on fighting the good fight!

"Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses." ~ 1 Timothy 6:12

Love always,

Tiffany 

(12.13.12)

Just on a personal note...

So I wrote this note on my phone during one of my melt downs last week during class. I am not going to change the wording of it because I don't want to mess with the raw emotions that were being experienced when written. Some of it was a little too personal so I left it out, but I left what I wanted shared:

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I'm sitting in class and I don't even know why.  I'm physically here, but mentally, I am far far away.  I feel like I'm relapsing... and I'm not doing a good job at fighting it. I just don't know what to think anymore.  I really just want to go to bed and never get out of it.

And on top of all this, or maybe the reason for all this, I'm not sure... is I miss him. And I hate it! Why can't I just hate him.  Why can't I just move on like everyone says I should.  Why can't I just move on like he apparently has (and with no problem at that). It's not fair...

I keep asking "but God?" or "God why?" but does it really matter?  Like the song "The Hurt and the Healer" by MercyMe says, "Healing doesn't come from being explained".

We can cry and beg God for an explanation all day, but would we understand it? Even if God answered every little question we had, we would still want to know more.  We would ask and ask all day long for more because there is no way for our small finite minds to comprehend God and His mysterious ways.  We may think we have Him figured out, but we really have no clue.

I ask God everyday why things didn't work out between us.  Why did I screw up? Why did you let me fall in love with someone if I was only going to end up broken, hurt and confused in the end? Why did I feel like you wanted me with him forever? Why did you allow me to get hurt like this? Why did you allow that last response when it came in when it did? Why did you let me feel that feeling of reassurance when it obviously was not true?

I do not know all these answers, and I may never know the whole story.  But one thing I do know is God has all the answers.  All I can do is cry to God for comfort, not answers.  I have to trust that He knows what He is doing.  I have to live for Him, and never let the pain from my loss overbear the love He has given me through all this, because often time I do.

Letting Go

As humans, we tend to cling to what is familiar and what we are used to, even if it means giving up on something that could be better for you. It may be an old relationship, an old lifestyle or habit, or even just an old mindset.

When we come to Jesus, we have to let go of some things. It may not be easy, but you can ask God to help you let it go. I know it’s hard, trust me, I am battling with it myself. But really, the past is the past for a reason. God got you out of it, so don’t let yourself fall back into it.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. ~Ephesians 4:21-24

Throw away your past and put on the new and remade you! You can do it, because that is what God wants for you, and He will help you do it if you only ask His help!

But remember, before He can help you, you must be 100% willing to let go of whatever it is that you are letting go of.  I know that may seem like common sense, but it took me a while to see that the reason I was not moving on from my past was because I was not willing to let God do the work, I wanted to hold on. But I started praying for strength to let go, and once I did that, things got easier.

I hope this helps someone out there! Remember, you are not alone! God is with you every step of the way!

God bless,

Tiffany <3

A Personal Pondering

This is quite embarrassing, but I feel I need to throw it out there...

So I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson. I know this may sound trivial to you, but to me, it's actually way bigger of an issue than I'm really willing to admit. I have had it on my mind, but I think in order for me to really get it is by writing it out so here it goes...

So ever since I moved into my school, things have been great. But I have been having this one issue. My hair! (okay, go ahead and laugh) but seriously.

It will not cooperate no matter WHAT I do. Everything fails.  Straightening doesn't work, neither will my natural curls cooperate (much to my dismay). I don't know what to do.

And I know I should not make a big deal about it, but for some reason I am. It's like I used to have this awesome confidence in myself, but now, it's gone. And I'm pretty sure my hair has some sort of correlation with that loss (as embarrassing and horrible as that sounds.)

I think God is trying to teach me a lesson that appearances are not what's important. And that I spend too much time worrying about them, rather than worrying about what's on the inside. I'll spend about 30 minutes trying to make my hair decent, only to have it ruined as soon as I step outside, and all day I get upset that it does that. And I let it get to me.  I spend more time trying to figure out what to do to fix my hair, than I do to try and fix my heart and build my relationship with Him.

Why do I let my confidence depend on whether or not I am having a good hair day?  My confidence should be in the Lord, my God. My Rock and my Salvation. Not some filamentous biomaterial on top of my head.  

I have never considered myself as superficial, and have joked about people who are. But I feel like that is what I have become, all over a stupid head of hair. 

I guess I am writing this to kinda understand it better myself. It's actually kinda embarrassing, but I thought maybe throwing it out there in the open will help me realize how stupid this whole thing is and how I need to fix it.  Maybe this is a lesson from God to open up my eyes to what I have become.... Or maybe my hair is just being duh lol.

But whatever the reasoning, I am really going to have to keep myself in check and fix this problem now.  I do not want it escalating. I pray that God will help me get back the confidence that I used to have (and perhaps maybe at least one good hair day a week, lol, jk) but seriously. I do pray He helps me fix this problem I seem to have developed.

Thanks and God bless, and please if you have any comments or suggestions, or maybe even a similar experience, please let me know. It would be GREAT to know that I'm not the only one who had dealt with a similarly petty situation.

Peace and blessings,

Tiff

Daily Bears Our Burdens

So for many of you, school has started back, and if you’re anything like me, the school work is piling up…. FAST.  The stress is quickly starting to ease it’s way in, with deadlines for, homework, exams, papers all due at the same time, while trying to balance Jesus, daily Bible time, friends, family, and work too. Needless to say, it’s pretty stressful. But tonight Pastor gave an awesome word, and he pointed out this scripture and I couldn’t wait to share it with you guys!

It is Psalm 68:19

“‎Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens.” Psalm 68:19

Praise the LORD!! He bears our burdens DAILY! There is not a day that goes by where He does not offer to carry our burdens. So no matter what stress is going on in our life, be it school, work, family, relationships, whatever it is, there is nothing too big that God can’t handle. If you will only give them to Him, He will gladly bear your burdens for you! Remember, He has overcome the world!

God bless and hope you all are doing well! Peace and blessings!

Tiffany <3

(8.30.12)

Faithfully Waiting for God's Promises

If you are struggling with problems in your faith, I suggest you read the story of Abraham. His story is told throughout Genesis (starting Gen 12). I will give you the gist of his story…

God promised Abram (later renamed Abraham by God) that he would be the father of many nations if he obeyed his commands. The first one was to leave his country and family and travel to a new place and continue following Him. So Abram did just that. God also promised him descendants that would be more numerous than the stars (Gen 15:5)

Abraham trusted God, but began to grow weary, for he was getting old and had no children. He tried taking the matters into his own hands, adopting a slave, having a child with his wife’s servant girl so he could have a son, but God told him He was still going to have the promised child even in his old age. And at the age of 90, Sarah gave birth to the promised child, Isaac.

The whole point I’m trying to make is that if God has promised you something, don’t be discouraged.  It may seem like it is taking too long, and time has run out, but remember, He goes by HIS time, not ours.  What may seem like too late to us, may be just on time with Him. Do not lose faith and take matters into your own hands, as Abraham did. Trust that God will provide, no matter how hard it may be hold on.

I hope this helps renew someone’s faith like it has mine.

God bless,

Tiff <3

Don't Give Up on Anyone

Before you give up on hoping someone can change, remember that the power of God can do great things in ANYONE’s life.

Look at Paul. For those of you who may not know, Paul was a great disciple for God. But he was not always that way….

He was originally named Saul. He made it his mission to persecute Christians, to keep them from furthering the kingdom. He caused the death of many Christians. Then one day, on the road to Damascus, God stopped Saul right in his tracks.  And completely transformed him into a new man.  God changed his name to Paul, and Paul became a GREAT missionary of the Good News!

Maybe there is someone in your life you are praying for, but it seems like a lost cause. Don’t give up. Continue to pray for him/her and in God’s time, a change will happen one way or another. Do not give up on anyone, you may be the only one who cares enough to pray for a change. Keep praying and sowing seeds, you may not be the harvester, but those seeds will get harvested when the time comes.

Keep on keeping on, and don’t give up on anyone. If Paul could change, than surely anyone else can too!

Tiffany <3

Don't Forget Your Value

As I was going on my daily walk, I found a penny on the road, so I picked it up. The side facing up was fine, but after I picked it up and examined it, I noticed the back was in terrible condition. If I hadn’t seen the front, I never would have known it was a penny.

Then God starting using that penny to teach me some very important lessons to apply to my life.  I will now try to explain them to the best of my ability.

So my first reaction when I examined the penny was “well I guess I won’t be using this penny, it’s so damaged that it’s useless.” Often times in life we consider ourselves as damaged and useless unto God.  We let it hold us back from doing things God wants us to do.  But we don’t have to live like that.  If we let God work in us, he can take the damaged parts and fix them.  So to prove this point, when I got home I went online to see the best way to clean a penny. I did so and watched as the Vinegar penetrated through the gunk on the penny and watched as Lincoln’s head became clearer and clearer. Then I realized that the vinegar represents God. He is our “vinegar.”  We can chose to keep on living with our damaged parts, our broken hearts and souls and spirits, or we can hand them over to God, and let him wash the pains away.  Allow Him to totally wipe you clean and restore you to your natural self. But in order to be made new again, you have to make the decision to go to Him, and allow Him to work in your life and to make you as good as new.

The second point is that just because something or someONE seems fine on the outside, does not mean there is nothing the matter with them. I did not realize the state that the penny was in until I picked it up and examined it to find the back of the penny marred. Just because someone seems put together on the outside, you never really know what is going on on the inside unless you dive deeper.  So say a prayer for your friends and family.  You may not know what is going on, but God does, and they may need the prayer after all.  Just because they may seem they have it all together, does not mean it is so.

But the main point I got from this whole “Penny Experience” is that no matter what happens to it, a penny is still a penny. It still has the value of a penny. And the same goes for you.  Just as the penny does not lose it’s value when it is scratched, neither do you lose any of your worth when you take a beating.  Satan will send a lot of things your way to tear you down, and make you beat yourself up, but at the end of the day, you are still God’s creation.  You are still a child of God and He still loves you the same today as He did yesterday, and still will tomorrow.  He still sees you as His beautiful and precious creation. No matter what happens in your life, you will NEVER lose that value to God. There is nothing you can do that will diminish the value God has for you. No matter what mistakes you may make, He will always be there to pick you up, and dust you off, and make you good as new.

God bless,

Tiff

Falling in Love

So I have always been afraid of falling in love. Mainly because I’m afraid of getting hurt. The first time I ever came close to falling in love with someone, they broke my heart. 

This is why I was very cautious with my last relationship, I was afraid that if I allowed myself to fall in love, I would end up heart broken. Well I took a chance, and well, ended up flat on my face, heart shattered more than I ever thought imaginable.

So I’m as I’m reading the book Crazy Love by Francis Chan, he tells us we need to fall in love with God. Then the memories of all the other times came flooding back and I was like “No way. I can’t. I cannot allow myself to fall in love with God and lose Him too. He is all I got, if I lose Him, I lose everything.”

Then I realized how silly I was to think that. How many times does God tell us that He loves us and will always be there for us? Take Deuteronomy 31:8 for example, ”The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” -Deuteronomy 31:8 

I should not fear that in loving God He will leave me there hanging. In fact, He wants to love me so much, that He wants to erase those bad memories and hurts I have associated with love, so that when He deems ready, I will be prepared to love again when He does send the right guy along. He wants that for both our sakes. I need to fall head over heels in love with God, and love Him without anything holding me back or interfering.  Only by falling in love with Him can I ever understand what true love really is.

(8.14.12)

My Personal Journey/My Isaiah Moment

So as I am coming to the end of my personal study of Isaiah, I have looked back at how much it has changed me.  In the very begining, Isaiah was very humble and felt unworthy to serve the Lord. But God cleansed him, then said the following

 ”Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?” Then I (Isaiah) said, “Here [am] I! Send me.”

It was then that I realized it was my time too. To totally surrender and ask God what it was that He wanted for me and asked how I could best serve Him and His kingdom. Well after a few days of intense praying and drowning myself in His word, I got the answer I was looking for. 

Long story short, He was leading me to Christian Counseling (which at first I thought He meant I needed it, but then I quickly realized, it was the other way around) and I did not feel like I was the best person for that, but He kept pushing me towards it. Well, one of my personal memory verses for that week was Prov 3:5-6 

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.”

{{Just a little background info about my personal memory verses, each week I write down two-three verses to really meditate on daily, and memorize. Usually they are verses that really apply to my life at that certain time, and that verse definitely suit the bill for that week! }}

So anyways, I was sitting in church that Sunday morning and pulled out my Bible verses. Well when I got down to that one, something was different. It wasn’t me saying it…

As I was sitting in church, waiting for it to start, God said to me “Trust in ME with all your heart, and lean not on YOUR OWN understanding, lean on mine. I will guide you and help you through this journey”

Seriously, I wish someone had seen my face when this happened. I immediately grabbed my notebook and started scribbling. My hand was shaking so bad, I just couldn’t get it written down. 

The reason He had to say this to me was because, well, I tried to tell myself I was not able to do it. Like I said earlier, I was in the middle of doing my own personal study of Isaiah. Most of the time I was super confused, and there were wars with enemies, and allies, and fighting and God’s wrath, then peace and it was really overwhelming at times. Well in the midst of this, I felt God was leading me to drop my sociology degree and start on my Religion degree here at CSU. But I was like “God, how can I do that? I BARELY understand this ONE book of the Bible, how am I supposed to figure out and understand the whole thing. I just can’t do it, it will be too much. I just don’t understand it all.” Those were my exact words (taken from a journal entry I wrote during those days of intense prayer and such.” Well it was the day after that note/letter was written that God said that verse to me, the very same verse that I had been memorizing and meditating on all week, but was now seeing it in a whole new light.

It was like God was saying, ”Tiffany, you’re right. You cannot do it…ON YOUR OWN. But with MY help, you can. Lean on me, and I will give you the ability to understand and do great things.” Yeah, God wanting to do great things with ME. Of all people. I was just so in awe I just didn’t know how to respond. 

So once I got my mind wrapped around the whole thing, I applied to CSU and got accepted in a matter of days. Then was given a super big scholarship from the school it self.  I asked God to open the door to help me get accepted (since the last day to register had passed) and it was like He knocked the whole door and wall down with it! It only confirmed what I knew in my heart what God wanted from me. When God something for you, He can and will do anything to make it possible!

Now fast forward to this morning. As I was getting ready for work, I just broke down. Tears streamed down my face as I realized, God had called me to this a long time ago, and I JUST TODAY realized it. God had used me before to help someone and showed me at a very young age just exactly what He wanted from me. And I only today was able to put the pieces together…

Rewind about ten years ago. My parents went through a divorce. It was hard on my sister and I, and I had to go through counseling and all that jazz. During that time, I became really close to my guidance counselor, Mrs. Hartnett (haha yes, that’s right, Mrs. Hartnett, no relation tho). Once they felt I was good, I no longer had to attend counseling. Well about a year a half maybe (I’m not sure as to the exact amount of time, because I was young and we all know kids have no perception of time lol, but I know this all happened b/w grades 3-5) so I think I was in 4th grade by this point, and my guidance counselor called me in again. I was confused, because I was doing fine and didn’t understand why she called me in (though I was happy I got out of science class! ;) ) but anyway, come to find out, it wasn’t I that needed counseling, but another girl, about my age. 

Her parents were going through a pretty bad divorce (much worse than my situation was) but refused to talk to anyone, even the guidance counselor, but she agreed she would talk to another student, and my guidance counselor called me in and asked me if I would be willing to do it. I was happy to help (and probably even more happy to get out of class once a week lol) so I agreed. And for a few months, we met once or twice a week in guidance, and just talked about things and how we dealt with situations and such as my counselor just kinda supervised, but for the most part, let her and I do most the talking.

Who knew that what He was using me for then, was the same thing He would lead me to do again, for His glory, and to help His Kingdom. It was not until today I connected all of the pieces together. I guess I just never really tried to figure it out until now.

I guess that is all I wanted to share. In case anyone was wondering why I changed my major and such. It was simply because I asked God what He wanted me to do, and this is what He has called me to do.

And I am really excited to see where this is going to take me. I know God has great plans for me, and I know it is not going to be easy, but I know it will be worth it!

So God, here I am. Send me to do Your will, use me as You will. I am ready to lay down my life, pick up the cross, and follow You, whevever you may lead me…

“The Spirit of the Lord GOD [is] upon me; because the LORD hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to [them that are] bound…” Isaiah 61:1

(8.6.12)

Running

So I had a lot of things on my mind this evening, so to just get my thoughts together, and to take out my frustrations, I went for a walk. Normally my walks consist of… well… walking. But tonight I ran. And kept running. Normally, if I decide to jog, I’d be lucky if I got past two houses before taking a break. But tonight, I ran for almost 8 minutes straight, with no breaks.

But then I looked back, and saw just how far I had been running, and I realized, wow, there is no way I did that, and suddenly I was overwhelmed with fatigue. My body, which had been full of energy, just totally drained. Why? Because I looked back.

Why am I telling you this? Because as I continued to walk, I realized, that life works the same way. 

God has a great plan for us, each and every one of us (Jer 29:11). But sometimes we don’t seek out that plan, or we run from it. In doing so we are really doing ourselves a disservice.

Think back to one of the most popular Bible stories that I know you know if you attended any kind of Sunday School growing up.  Think back to the story of Jonah. Most people remember him as the guy who got swallowed by the whale/fish. But as I was reading it to the kids in the Nursery last week, I saw the story from a whole new perspective, having matured several years from the last time I heard the story.

He ran from God’s calling for Him. When we run from our God’s calling in our lives, we are not the only ones who are affected (the other passengers on the boat Jonah was on was also affected by the bad storm God sent them, all because of Jonah running from God). 

So instead of running away from our problems/fears/troubles, we should run TO our Savior.  Tonight, as I was running, I just kept running. And kept running. Focusing on the goal to clear my mind.  It wasn’t until I looked back that I realized how far I’ve come and decided I did enough.

When we run to God, we cannot look back. The past is the past. We cannot hang on to it forever, because God has something bigger, greater, and better for us.  When running toward God, don’t look back, keep your focus on what’s ahead, and I can guarantee you, God will give you the strength to keep pushing through, even when you think there is no way you can do it, He can and will make a way. Remember “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)” As long as God is on your side, He will get you through anything. 

So keep focusing on your run to Him, because your future with Him, is brighter than anything you can see behind you…

God Forgives the Repentent

So during my Bible reading I read several chapters in Isaiah. Well the last one I did was Isaiah 57. I won’t quote the whole section, but verses 14-21 really had an impact on me. 

It was about God forgiving the repentant heart. Forgiveness is one of those gifts we don’t really think about.  It’s one of the first things we are taught as a Christian, God forgives us. Well two verses in particular says 

“I have seen what they do, but I will heal them anyway! I will lead them. I will comfort those who mourn, bringing words of praise to their lips. May they have abundant peace, both near and far,” says the LORD, who heals them.” Isaiah 57:18-19 (NLT)

God knows our past. He knows every sin we have committed, even things we have kept hidden, that not even our closest friends or family know about, God does. Yet, He loves us anyway. How awesome is it that we have a God who loves us. And is willing to forgive us, comfort us, and bring us peace that bring us joy, despite our past!

I know I don’t deserve it, none of us does, yet, He offers this gift of forgiveness to ANYONE who seeks it. 

He truly is an awesome, loving, compassionate God!