A Personal Pondering

This is quite embarrassing, but I feel I need to throw it out there...

So I really think God is trying to teach me a lesson. I know this may sound trivial to you, but to me, it's actually way bigger of an issue than I'm really willing to admit. I have had it on my mind, but I think in order for me to really get it is by writing it out so here it goes...

So ever since I moved into my school, things have been great. But I have been having this one issue. My hair! (okay, go ahead and laugh) but seriously.

It will not cooperate no matter WHAT I do. Everything fails.  Straightening doesn't work, neither will my natural curls cooperate (much to my dismay). I don't know what to do.

And I know I should not make a big deal about it, but for some reason I am. It's like I used to have this awesome confidence in myself, but now, it's gone. And I'm pretty sure my hair has some sort of correlation with that loss (as embarrassing and horrible as that sounds.)

I think God is trying to teach me a lesson that appearances are not what's important. And that I spend too much time worrying about them, rather than worrying about what's on the inside. I'll spend about 30 minutes trying to make my hair decent, only to have it ruined as soon as I step outside, and all day I get upset that it does that. And I let it get to me.  I spend more time trying to figure out what to do to fix my hair, than I do to try and fix my heart and build my relationship with Him.

Why do I let my confidence depend on whether or not I am having a good hair day?  My confidence should be in the Lord, my God. My Rock and my Salvation. Not some filamentous biomaterial on top of my head.  

I have never considered myself as superficial, and have joked about people who are. But I feel like that is what I have become, all over a stupid head of hair. 

I guess I am writing this to kinda understand it better myself. It's actually kinda embarrassing, but I thought maybe throwing it out there in the open will help me realize how stupid this whole thing is and how I need to fix it.  Maybe this is a lesson from God to open up my eyes to what I have become.... Or maybe my hair is just being duh lol.

But whatever the reasoning, I am really going to have to keep myself in check and fix this problem now.  I do not want it escalating. I pray that God will help me get back the confidence that I used to have (and perhaps maybe at least one good hair day a week, lol, jk) but seriously. I do pray He helps me fix this problem I seem to have developed.

Thanks and God bless, and please if you have any comments or suggestions, or maybe even a similar experience, please let me know. It would be GREAT to know that I'm not the only one who had dealt with a similarly petty situation.

Peace and blessings,

Tiff