Tuesday, October 16, 2012

What's on my mind?

So in case you haven't noticed, whenever you post a facebook status, it asks "what's on your mind". So today I was going to answer it for real this time, but once I got to typing it, I realized that what I had on my mind was much too long for a simple status up date, so I decided to blog about it instead.

So I'm not gonna lie, I went to bed with a bit of jealousy on my mind.  A few friends of mine on my facebook/other social networking sites, made statuses/posts about how God had finally answered their prayers.

As I was reading them, all I could think was, "okay God, when is it my turn?" So as I went to sleep that night, I even prayed about it.  I was like okay God, it seems like you have been in a prayer answering mode lately, I sure would like it if mine were next.

Well during my sleep I had a very weird dream. Like it was petrifying. It creeped me out BIG time and I woke up praying asking God to keep His angels around me. I was afraid to even go back to sleep, but I did.

Anyway what I'm trying to get to is in the end, when I woke up, I realized just how selfish I had been. Here I was upset that God hasn't "answered" this prayer I have had for months, when I should have been thankful for the prayers He HAD answered over the months. Focusing on the blessings both asked for, and the unexpected ones.  I was so embarrassed by the mindset I had before bed last night, it sickened me.

So I woke up thanking God for waking me another day, along with the countless other blessings He has blessed me with.

I also realized that in order for my prayers to be answered, I should change my prayers around.  I should ask that His will be done, and to help comfort me if His will is not the same as my desire.

I guess this is some of what's been on my mind...

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