On the car ride home from grandma Emily's mom kept asking me if I was okay in which I replied my usual "I'm fine". But I think we both know its a lie.
Of course I'm not fine. I hate this place. Living in this house is so physically, emotionally, and psychologically draining. As soon as I step thru the door I can literally feel the joy and happiness in life just get sucked up. Gone like a leaf in this wind.
I can't stand it. I don't even feel safe in my own home. I need to find a safe haven somewhere else. Anywhere else but here.
It's almost like there's some kind of dark spirit that dwells in this house. I don't blame Brittany for getting out of it. As much as I miss her, I hope she doesn't come back. She shouldn't have to deal with the darkness in this house.
It's almost like there's some kind of dark spirit that dwells in this house. I don't blame Brittany for getting out of it. As much as I miss her, I hope she doesn't come back. She shouldn't have to deal with the darkness in this house.
And it's like mom is completely naive to it. Or she's just too tired to care anymore. She's had all the life sucked out of her as well it seems.
I'm not saying that her husband is some evil spirit, but I know his presence in this household doesn't help push it out that's for sure. If anything it's almost like he invited it in.
I shouldn't fear for my own safety in my own home. And it's not the outsiders breaking in I'm afraid of. Heck I could probably handle that. It's what's on the inside I'm afraid of. The darkness is what I fear. As well as her husband. I will not allow myself to be alone in the house with him. Because I fear for y life. He has attacked my sister an mother on multiple occasions. Who's to say he won't do it to me?
I have been living here in this house for 18 years. He only eight. How is it that I'm the one who has to leave all the time? It's not fair.
And mom doesn't seem to care. It's like she's just given up. She rather live a life of complacency, though I would hardly call it that, just so she won't have to live alone.
I'd rather live alone with some life to me than in a house filled with soul sucking spirits.
So the answer to your question mom is no, I'm not okay....
I shouldn't fear for my own safety in my own home. And it's not the outsiders breaking in I'm afraid of. Heck I could probably handle that. It's what's on the inside I'm afraid of. The darkness is what I fear. As well as her husband. I will not allow myself to be alone in the house with him. Because I fear for y life. He has attacked my sister an mother on multiple occasions. Who's to say he won't do it to me?
I have been living here in this house for 18 years. He only eight. How is it that I'm the one who has to leave all the time? It's not fair.
And mom doesn't seem to care. It's like she's just given up. She rather live a life of complacency, though I would hardly call it that, just so she won't have to live alone.
I'd rather live alone with some life to me than in a house filled with soul sucking spirits.
So the answer to your question mom is no, I'm not okay....
Dear God,
You know my situation. You have put me here for a reason, but what that reason is, I don't know. Please help give me the strength. My mother has already given up, and I'm almost to that point too. I know that darkness in this house is strong, but I also know that there is NO darkness that can compare to your Light, God. For Your light shines through all darkness.
Please let your light shine through me. Please give me the strength to fight this darkness. I cannot do it alone, but I know with You on my side, I am garunteed victory. Help me win back my house. Help me to fight for peace in our house. We cannot live with this darkness anymore.
I claim victory in Your name Jesus,
Amen
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